Dating is hard. There isn’t any hope. Men suck. Women are teases. Yada, yada, yada. Get over it! Okay, so I don’t mean get over it—fully. But, there is something to be said about going into the dating world with persistent negativity. Whether complaining about the lies perpetrated in the name of online dating photos or just how handsy men can be on the first date, there seems no end to how much we loathe the whole dating scene. Which of these might you find yourself falling victim to?

Becky was a recent client of mine and she had what I call pre-cog disease. She could forecast a bad date before she even knew she was going on it. A large part of these psychic abilities stemmed from her history of bad dates and even badder boyfriends. And while some may consider this pre-cog stuff a gift, I guarantee you, none of them were the guys she would see on those dates. They didn’t stand a chance regardless of how funny, handsome or charming they were. Dating is hard.

We’ve all had friends that suffered from comparison disease, as in, “I don’t see the point in looking since no one will ever be better than Mark was”. Yep, dating when no one can out-date the last great love you were dating is, well, fruitless. One of the most troubling to me is the fairy tale disease. In this problem area, someone finds it hard to want to date anyone because no one measures up to the needs in their own head. Dating is hard. Get over it! Dating is hard.

In closing, be honest and ask yourself if you suffer from any of these. If you do, look at the last couple paragraphs above and think about how you’ll be able to find a happy, long-term relationship if the disease continues in your mind. As well, for as long as the diseases linger, there will not be any healthy relationships in your future. This will only further your belief that your skepticism was valid. Sooner or later, we have a dating do-loop that cannot be stopped.